LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION

November 26, 2019

By PAUL BOWEN

blood, dirt & angels Sports Editor Emeritus

I have a nice house.  It was built around 1920.  3 bedrooms, 2 full baths.  We live on the downward slope of a big hill that overlooks the Arkansas River.  You can see it from the front porch.  And a great porch it is.  We spend a good bit of time out there when the weather is good.  We live across the street from a park so there’s green space in front of us.  You can see the bluffs of North Little Rock from the backyard.

Chad Morris’ pad is up for sale. Listed at $3.79 million.

The kitchen is a little small but who cares?  There’s plenty of room for the two of us.  Sure, it’s a little snug when the kids are home but that’s an episodic thing.  Big screen TV in the den.  Fireplace in the living room.  

I was fortunate enough to put a good bit of money down when we bought it.  So the monthly nut is manageable.  And if worse comes to worse I have good equity in it if I have to sell it really quick.

Unlike Chad Morris.  

Look, I’m not one to tell a man how he should spend his money mainly because it’s none of my business.  And I know that when you are the head football coach at a place like Arkansas there are certain appearances that need to be made.

But I think that you can get a perfectly nice house up there without paying 3.8 million dollars.  You read that right.  What do you get for that eye-popping price?  11,616 square feet, 8 bedrooms, and a guest house about as big as the house from which I am typing this.  

And actually, you don’t need 3.8 million to get Chad’s house.  Because the realtor has it listed for 3.79.  Which means Chad will probably take even less to get this off of his hands.  After all, he is out of work at the present time.

You can put Chad on your prayer list if you want to.  That’s none of my business either.  But with a 10 million dollar buyout, which annuitizes out to $200k A MONTH(!) for not working, I’m guessing he can cover the house payment quite nicely.     

But talk about a metaphor for everything that is wrong with college athletics in general and Razorback football in particular.    Who needs 7 bedrooms and a guest house?  Well, the Duggars maybe.  But do you really want to go there?  I seem to recall that Chad has a daughter at UA.  But his wife and son Chandler stayed in Dallas so Chandler could finish high school.  And most DI coaches are on the road a lot for games and recruiting.  Which means that Chad’s palatial Ozark spread was probably empty a lot.

Furthermore, I don’t think that I would buy a place Michael Jackson might have found ostentatious until I had, like, actually won some SEC football games.  Which he did not do in the two years he graced the Fayetteville real estate market with his presence and checkbook.  

This is called hubris ladies and gentlemen.  Or grandiose thinking.  Or white trash behavior.  Take your pick.

It will be interesting to see who buys that thing.  Maybe Chad’s replacement.  If so I hope he brings some humans with him to fill it up.  But I have to think that Chad would have better off if he had bought my house instead.  Plenty of room for him and the missus.  Plenty of room for somebody who is rarely here.  And if I have to sell my house in a hurry I will for damn sure list it for more than I paid for it and I will get it too.

As the old saying goes, everything I got is for sale.  How about it Chad?  You obviously are looking to downsize.  Make me an offer.

  Just show me a Letter of Credit before we talk.  


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