Bork’s doggerel, Miller Williams and fictive personalities

October 9, 2010

My colleague Bobby Ampezzan has an excellent piece on the University of Arkansas Press, which is celebrating it’s 30th year in business, in Sunday’s Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. Coincident to that, some friends of ours recently moved, and in the pursuant upheaval (thanks Libby) found the following artifact — an email exchange between my dog Bork and UA Press founder Miller Williams.

At the time of this correspondence — late 1996 — Miller was busily engaged in the writing of a poem to be read at Bill Clinton’s second inaugural, and Bork decided to help him out. So Bork typed out this piece (which I notice could be set to the tune of “America the Beautiful”):

A Yellow Dog Struggles to Help His Uncle Miller Write the Big Poem the Occasion Calls For and Contemplates the Approaching Millenium With Something Not Unlike Confidence Humming in His Heart

how dutiful those power ties
never called to explain
with trophy wives, who jazzercise
to actualize their brain
America, America
we’ve taken all the cures
we’re number one, we’ve got a gun
we got ours, now get yours

see how our soul-sucked children stare
how bright their future glows
with MTV, and Kathi Lee
and ads for panty hose
America, America
God’s got a lot of nerve
to cause a fuss, and guilt-trip us
we’re graded on the curve

how sensitive the talk show hosts
how hard our adomens
paparazzi caught the Holy Ghost
sun-bathing nude at Cannes
America, America
might we light your cigarette?
or save your Euro butts, from Commie nuts?
the world’s last best hope, you bet

they say our century’s almost done
the Chinese wait in the wings
but let’s have ourselves another one
before the fat gravity-challenged lady sings
America, America
our deficit is high
or is that a myth, to scare folks with,
like “live free or die?”

but never mind the faithless boys
who trouble us with doubt
although we’ve got the biggest toys
that’s not what we’re about
America, America
still standing after all
a decent, experiment
in liberty and law

Miller very politely declined Bork’s offer that he use any or all of the poem, citing the need to do his own work.


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